CHRISTMAS ANGELS

Christmas this year was a little challenging to prepare for as we spent the month before nursing Dad.  Rushing out to malls to buy presents etc seemed irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things.    I must admit I was a little stressed about it but that was just the way things were this year. 

HOWEVER….

On the evening of Dad’s funeral,  my Bestest Buddy Nix bought over 3 boxes of presents,  one for each of the kids and put them under the Christmas tree.  The kids were all asleep when she came.  Look at the photo below,  prior to this photos there were NO presents under the tree at all!

She also bought a lovely note which has stayed displayed in the Christmas tree since then.  All of the gifts were from my friends for my kids and this is what the note read....(see below)  I cried when I read the note.  Need I say any more. 

The next morning when the kids got up they were surprised to see all these presents under the tree.  I had told Nix it may not be a good idea putting them under the tree yet as I usually don’t until Christmas Eve,  she told me that this was her thing and she was the Boss this year!  LOL!  She put me in my place.  I told the kids they could have one present each morning before Christmas and this was okay for Terina and Arama but it just about Killed Niwa opening one a day.  I heard him yell out one day when I was down at the washing line  “Yey a Trash pack!”  I told him to come here  and asked him if he had opened one of his presents and he said no only a little bit.  LOL!  I guess it is kind of torture for a four year old to be so restrained!

Through this whole ordeal with Dad dying,  I have come to realise how loved I am and how AMAZING  all my friends are!  I don’t think there is anyone else in this world who has friends so amazing as mine.  They have taken the kids,  picked them up from school,  made us meals,  prayed for us,  texted mum to tell her they are praying for her too,  visited Dad to say their farewells,  stayed at my home so I can be up at the Hospice,  weeded our garden,  helped with stuff around the home,  made my aunty a birthday cake,  bought amazing food up to the Hospice and the list goes on and on,  it has been so humbling.  I would not have coped without their help. 

THANK YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS FOR ALL YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I LOVE YOU BACK A MILLION TIMES MORE!

FAMILY MEMORIES.

Over the past few weeks we have had many family members from Australia staying as my dear Dad passed.  Dads sister Aunty Colleen and her husband Ken and their daughter Sarah and her little baby Milli have been staying here.  Aunty Colleen has been here for 5 weeks helping mum and they have shared many tears, laughs and heart aches together.    When they left on Sunday they gave each of our families here in NZ a little framed piece of art. see below.



Here are some photos and entries from my aunty and my cousin's face book pages.

Aunty colleen wrote on her birthday 17th Dec 2012....

Today on my birthday we say goodbye to my dear brother Rod after a battle that was not going to be won. Bravely fought and battled bravely for these last four horrid weeks. 
Love you BRO!

Sarah wrote yesterday

Myself and Millie have just spent 5 days in NZ. A trip we certainly never wanted to take.... It was for my Uncle Rod's funeral. .... The loss of Uncle Rod to our family is heart breaking, sometime still surreal and just plain sad.....yet with Christmas tomorrow I just wanted to share what I have learned in the last week. Our whanau (family) and friends are everything. We don't always say or show it but give a big hug, lend your shoulder to cry on, sometimes just a squeeze of the hand and always tell them you love them. Babies and children are our lifelines, they make us smile when we are sad and laugh when we are crying.... They are our blessings. The biggest lesson I learned this week, is the importance of creating memories. When our loved ones are taken from us and even when we are gone, these memories are the most precious things we have, and they can never be taken away. So today, tomorrow and always, create special memories with your whanau & friends because these memories live on forever. Arohanui to you all xxx


Below are some photos of My special cousin Sarah and her beautiful baby Millie who came over.




Niwa and Millie really seemed to connect,  this bubba was a real blessing amongst the heartache.

Below is a beautiful photo of Sarah and Dad on her wedding day.  She was his only niece on his side of the family and she was pretty special to him.



This is a photo of her beautiful children below back in OZ.  We so can't wait to spend some time with them in OZ soon!  We are thinking it might be a lovely thing to spend next Christmas there with them all as a family.

Baby Millie is below and Jade is on the left and Ella on the right.



We feel a great loss at the moment because they have all gone home but like Sarah said,  it is time to make and keep memories here right now.  I love my Family more and more each day especially after this experience of dad passing.

MY HERO IS TAKEN HOME.

On the 17th Dec 2012 at 6.23pm my one and only Daddy was taken home to rest at peace finally after a pretty long battle with cancer.  It finally got to him and he just couldn't fight anymore.  I have so much to catch up on and so so many special experiences that  I need to add to my blog relating to the past month.  This has got to be one of the most draining experiences I have ever experienced.  It has been tough!  The photo above is of my dad in one of his bowling uniforms he was a top notch bowler and as written on the card from Bowling NZ,  the sport will surely miss him!  Hopefully the new bowling green up in Heaven is paved in gold and he is still enjoying what he loves most.

My Special Aunty,  his sister Aunty Colleen,  came from OZ  6 weeks ago to be with him and mum as they went through this heart breaking experience.  The sad part was that he actually died on her birthday which was pretty tender especially for her.  The night he died after the funeral directors had come, we went home to Mums and had birthday cake for her. (see photos below)

Dad was taken to the Hospice a week to the day before he died.  Hospice was an amazing place filled with so so many angels.  The people there are filled with so much love!  When he died on Monday night,  one week ago today,  they lit a candle and put a rose on his pillow beside where he lay.  See photo below.

The day dad died,  I went and got a little Christmas tree  and put it up above the light above his bed and we decorated his room with a few Christmas things.  I also put Terina's picture up on the wall that she took over to poppas house when she told Poppa about Michael Jackson etc as written about in my last blog entry.  (see photo below)

We bought Dad home to our house for 2 nights so people could come over and pay their respects and so our children could spend some time with their poppa one last time.  This was a lovely experience.  Terina slept beside him and continued to stroke his hair etc and talk to him.  We all cried lots and laughed lots as we shared, sung, prayed and celebrated his life.  

Then on Thursday 20th December we said our final farewell at Dils funeral chapel in Snapper Rock which was just beautiful,  see program below.

The funeral program was lovely and we all played a part in it.  Arama spoke and it was just so lovely,  here is a copy of his speech below.

I  just want to share a few Things I remember about poppa

He would always have a stash of chubba chub lolly pops in the car

Every morning when he would  come to take me to school I would read the news on his i phone then he would ask me "whats news?"

No one knows this but when he would drop me at school he would give me two dollars and say "it's nice doing business with you".

When we stayed at his house he would always make cherios on a stick dipped into sauce.

When he would pick me up after school on Mondays and Fridays he would always have two packets of chips and they were always always signature range.

I think he must have known his time was short because he planned a trip for our family it was the best trip we have ever been on with them.

I hope you all enjoy your cherios, chubba chubs and salt and vinegar chips today.

I love you Poppa I can't wait to see you again!

Arama was very emotional before he gave his little talk,  but he said to me "I can do this!"  I was so proud of him as his talk was very touching.  

Two of my most special friends made this amazing chubba chub tree and when everyone was leaving,  they helped themselves to a chubba chub lolly pop in rememberance of POPs.  It had a tag tied around it saying "We love our POPs",  then on the Jar it read, "Who always had pops in his car for us!  Arohatinonui,  Your mokopuna xxxx.  (thanks Renee and Nix for all your time and energy you put into this most amazing tree,  it looked amazing)

Here are a few photos below of dads coffin at the chapel,  they were only iphone photos so they are not very clear.

The funeral was followed by a private cremation service.  

It was a lovely day and we went back to the bowling club after for eats.

We have over the weeks had so much service rendered to us from other people.  We have truely felt the work of earthly and heavenly angels around us more than ever before.  It has been very emotionally draining but the lord helps you to just keep going.  I had a Hysterectomy 5 weeks ago and then this all happened at the same time.  But the lord totally took care of that side of things so I could focus on Dad. I had absolutely no complications whatsoever pain wise etc after my operation,  In fact I wonder if they actually did the operation or if they were just tricking me LOL.

Tomorrow is Christmas day and we are all feeling very tender.  To farewell your Hero Father 5 days before Christmas is not the easiest thing to do.  I Miss him so so much.  When I got home from the funeral I walked inside and felt so so lost.  I just cried and cried and cried and I still have my moments of real deep sadness,  it is like a huge hole has been left in your heart.  I have been told that time is the only thing that heals or helps.  I feel so so much for mum,  I sent Arama over there last night to sleep with her but tonight she is there alone and my heart breaks that she is going to wake to no one there tomorrow morning.  My poor Mummy,  I want to keep mum and look after her with us forever more.  

Keith had to go straight back to work the day after the funeral so I still haven't had a chance to drop my shoulders,  he is still at work at 9pm as I type.  Hopefully we can stop for a moment or two soon.  

I hope you Enjoy Christmas in Heaven my Daddy.  You deserve the best time ever,  you have worked so hard here on earth helping so many people and its your time now to feel the joy and rewards of your efforts.  I miss you dearly my beautiful Dad.  It is my goal and faith that I will always  be close to you despite the fact that you are not here physically.

I have so much more to record but for now I had better go and wrap some presents.  LOL.

MY SPECIAL DADDY!

After many months of waiting and wondering regarding my Dad's cancer Mum, Aaron (my brother), and myself went to the Oncologist appointment on Monday.  Dad was meant to come too but he was too sick to leave the house.  We were basically told he has High Grade Neuroendocrine Cancer which is very fast growing.  This is not related to the prostate cancer and they are not 100% sure where it has come from but they are suggesting that it has possibly come from the appendix.  Anyway it has got to his Lungs, Liver, Ribs, Brain, Bones the works.  They said he will probably only live for a few more weeks and that he probably won't make the new year.   This explains why he has gone down hill so incredibly fast these past few weeks.  He has gone from taking Arama to school each day three weeks ago to not being able to even talk, walk, eat etc.  So we have all been on a very emotional roller coaster since then and it has been tough.  HOWEVER,  we have also had some beautiful tender moments together as a family and our faith in what we know has been strengthened more than ever before.  Keith and I sat in bed the other night talking about how we have so so much.  We may not have much in the way of worldly money and riches but we have our Faith in the Plan of Happiness that surely promises that we will be able to live eternally with God and our Loved ones.

Dad is not one to talk about his thoughts about such things and he is still struggling so much with the fact that he is dying.  It is literally torture for him to think about leaving mum behind and not being able to do the things in life that he has always done and loves doing anymore.  I have been praying that we will have some spiritual special moments as a family together so we are lifted up so that our burdens are lightened.  I have also been waiting for the right moment to tell Dad that I know he will be okay on the other side until we meet up with him again one day.   I have also been mindful of not wanting to upset him in the process though as he really doesn't want to talk about dying,  I think he is never loosing hope of the fact that a miracle might happen or that perhaps this is just a bad dream.

Every day this week we have taken one of our kids to be with him one on one.  Terina hadn't had her turn so last night we told her it was her turn.  She did up a lovely card for him which I will take a photo of and stick on my blog soon.  She wrote on it.  "I love you Poppa, and I love how you always keep winning your bowls!"  Keith and her went over as I had been there all day.  He was in his room watching tv and mum and Aunty Colleen (his sister)  were on his bed watching tv with him.
Terina Sat down with him on his bed and started giving him a 'Mirimiri' (rubbing him), and asking him, "Does that feel good Poppa?"  He gave her the 'Thumbs up' sign.  Then she said to him,  "Poppa you know when you die,  you are going to go to a better place!"  He whispered to her,  "Tell me about it please."  She said, "You are going to be so happy there Poppa and you will meet your parents and your baby twin sisters who died just after they were born and all the cool singers in this world like Michael Jackson and Uncle Ricky."  She then asked him if he would like a blessing and she said my dad will give you a blessing,  she told him about a time when she was sick and her dad gave her a blessing and she got better.  It was a real 'out of the mouth of babes' experience and she just said it how it was without worrying about how she said things she just shared from her heart what she really believed.

Keith and her were only gone for about half an hour and as soon as she came in the door she came running to me telling me everything that she said and everything that Poppa did. Keith told me that it was a totally magic moment.   As a family we joined together in prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for our faith in him and his plan.  What a blessing it is to truely believe in a sure Plan of Peace and Happiness that lasts forever not just for this life time.

Just before I got into bed I got this text from mum.

"Terina was amazing  her little speech she made was just so from the heart.  She was so sincere and beautiful.  Aunty Colleen has sent all details to Ken she was so impressed by what she said especially when she said that it was okay if Poppa was going to die as he would be with the Heavenly Father and Michael Jackson and Uncle Ricky.  What a gem!  Lots of Aroha mum."

I have loved some of the sacred moments I have had with Dad these past few days.  I love it how when he holds my hand he rubs it up and down with his fingers and he often squeezes my hand hard.  It is so special how sometimes you don't need to say any words but you are still communicating.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY DADDY FOR WHO HE IS AND FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME!

MINI MR LAWN MOWER

Niwa is such an outdoor kid!!   He loves helping his daddy in the garden.  We have spent the last few weekends in our yard and the kids have been loving it.   Here are some photos of Niwa this past weekend.  Whenever I mow the lawns he wants to do it with me and he is so cute.  He gets his little boots on and puts on his dads ear muffs or safety helmet.  He is so yummy!

We got our Big Boy to help clean up some of the cabbage tree leaves on Saturday when his friend was here.  Lots of moans came out of his mouth before he finally lifted a finger to help.  His friend did most of the work as he kindly held the bag open for him LOL!

The photos below are of last weekend when we started our vege garden planting etc.  Terina and Niwa were so into it!  I think Arama was probably having a great time on his I Pad inside.  LOL!

Look at Daddy go,  as usual he is working hard!

FIREWORKS AT OUR HOUSE!!!

Last Monday night for Family night we had Fireworks.  November the 5th is my mum’s birthday and we ALWAYS have a special dinner and fireworks  for My special mum’s birthday.  But this year dad is very sick and so there is no way he can handle being around our rowdy lot so we were a little sad to not be keeping up our family tradition.  HOWEVER … next best thing was my ‘bestie’ Nix and her family coming over for fireworks.  We had decided the night before that we would just keep it simple and have sausages and bread only!   LOL,  I worked that day and only got home about 5pm but by 6pm check out the feed that Nix and I have whipped up  ( ha ha so much for sausages and bread)!

The 'Royal Couple'  madly in love as usual.  

Check out the eyes,  'Peautiful'!

Throw the kids outside to eat, thats the one  LOL!

I made a cake for mum and we sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her even though she wasn’t able to be here,  we really wanted her to know that we love her and remember her on this special day!  If you are reading this mum.  “You’re the greatest mummy eva”!   

Nanny even made 'Jelly oranges' for the kids See Nikau trying to grab one off Matt and Missy Hall with one stuffed in her mouth!

Mum kindly bought all the fireworks for the kids this night as she didn’t want the kids to go without and being the stingy one that I am,  she probably  knew that I wouldn’t want to waste my money  on fireworks.  So thanks mum for our cool fun night!  See the photo below of Matt Goofing off by Carl.

See Nikau below,  he didn't want to be outside so they had to sit behind the

 ranch slider window  all night he is so yummy cute. 

SPARKLER FUN BELOW.

 Nikau plucked up the courage to come outside for the Sparklers.